Real Housewives of New York City

I didn't think anything could beat the cattiness of those Orange County bitches, but these New York chicks are fucking fierce. Apparently in Orange County you don't actually have to have a braincell in your head or an ounce of class as long as you have two implants and an Amex card. But it is some tough work to be able to hang with those Upper West Side cougars that is for sure. These bitches are educated, well traveled, scurry from one social circle to the next, and will not hesitate to talk shit about you right to your face! It's awesome!
Now lets talk about the characters of this season and last. I think the Bethany chick and the Jill chick are fucking hilarious. I love how Bethany isn't "having it" when it comes to anyone or anything, but yet she still has a vulnerable side to her. She is a strong, single independent woman who has made a name for her self in a man's world (as a chef) and I think she is fabulous. Jill is the typical Jewish American Princess. Also a no-nonsense kind of chick that I wouldn't want to piss off. She has a typical overweight Jewish American Princess daughter who she has sent to Paris to get some class and learn a new language, and yet she still isn't smart enough to not wear heels while touring Versailles.
Then we come to Alex and Simon. Where to start? There are already tons of blogs out there about how much these two pretentious fools fail at life, so I won't linger here too long. Now everyone knows my hatred for people who brag about their children and these people take the fucking cake. Not two seconds can go by without having to proclaim some amazing feat that these two children can perform, and yet there is nothing spectacular about that as far as I can see. I have never even heard the little Francois bastard say one word in french. And naming your other son Johan after naming the first one Francois is just plain child abuse. Plus, the chick's head looks like Frankenstein and she needs to invest some of her pretend money in a new jaw realignment.
Ramona simply has Adult ADHD and needs some Aderal as soon as possible please. She has Hershey squirt mouth which is like diarrhea of the mouth but more sporadic.
Now we come to Luanne. Oh Luanne Luanne Luanne. Such a beautiful fabulous woman but good god get over yourself! The scene where she corrects her friend by demanding that she be introduced to the limo driver as Mrs. Delassicunt (or whatever her name is) just made me want to puke as much as she did back when she was a model. Then in season two she does it again! She gets royally pissed off when someone again introduces her by her first name only. What the fuck is the problem here?? She is supposedly writing a book on etiquette and manners and yet she gets a F minus in social compassion and equality of the human race.


News Around The Blogs said...

That's effing hilairious, I love to read every single thing you write.